"Forgiveness" Book #46 , introduction
To you, who have this little book on Forgiveness in your hands,
I did not start to paint book # 46 knowing what forgiveness was, I started because I needed to go deeper into my own comprehension of the act of Pardon. After thinking I had forgiven someone, I was puzzled to witness my relapses into anger and resentment. My attachment to old stories and victimhood held me tight. I longed to be free, joyful and light, yet, I was carrying unnecessary guilt, shame and resentment. To understand where guilt comes from, to understand how forgiveness works is why I started to paint this book, as a hope and a prayer.
During my morning practice, I meditate first, call upon the Light, and let it speak through me. I get out of the way and let the images unfold in spiral books. My mental concept of the subject for any book is often turned inside-out, and enriched by the messages received through the paintings. I edited this book a year after I painted it and that process deepened my understanding of what forgiveness means to me. Forgiving, I realize, has nothing to do with an Other. It is a journey within my own Soul. How to be present with what is, yet not dwell on negativity? How to not pretend to be wise when I am raging inside? How to forgive the world, God, and myself? How to welcome the Light as I witness the darkness inside and out? How to surrender to the unraveling of my Soul? How to trust and let go even more?
I am so happy to share with you the gift these images have been for me.